C A P I C O S T I A

Penn Branch Center, charming as ever! (Clockwise from top right) Penn Branch Liquors, CVS Pharmacy, Beltway Beauty and Star Pizzeria, below it. (Originally published, July 15th, 2009) She sits at the corner of Pennsylvania and Branch Avenues, this brick and concrete goddess. Our Penn Branch. She sits there, with a mouthful of meatball subs, twinkies and Cool Ranch Doritos and washes it all down with a Colt 45. She sits there, fixing the one good eye she’s got left on you, as your car makes a mad rush for the John Philip Sousa Bridge. For Capitol Hill. National Harbor. Adams Morgan. Cool places. Exotic places. Faraway places, where cafes litter the sidewalk. Where laughter, foreign accents and live jazz tease the imported air. Where people linger. Celebrate. Hook up. I cannot honestly say that I remember the last time I wanted to visit Penn Branch Center, the prehistoric strip mall at the corner of Pennsylvania and Branch Avenues, for anything, ..and I don’t know anyone else, who does, ...

What in Dante's Hell is 'Capicostia'? There's something about living here, ..in Penn Branch, Fairfax Village, Pope Branch, Dupont Park, Twining, Hillcrest, the Randall Highlands and probably Fairlawn, too, ..that's different than living in other parts of River East, and the culture-angst is something only we can understand.  When you think about it, the only thing separating us from Capitol Hill and everything the Hill represents - sophistication, culture, history, relevance, style - is a stupid bridge and a river, and, while it seems rather inconsequential, we all know it isn't.  Not in D.C. And, especially, not over there, West-of-river, ..in Capitol Hill, Georgetown, Downtown, No'Ma and Adam's Morgan. There's a fleeting anxiety among some of us, who live in the neighborhoods along Pennsylvania Avenue, that we're unfairly characterized as less intellectually sophisticated, less cultured (appreciative of history and the arts), less relevant a...

Washington, DC has had an 5.9 RS earthquake and is expecting aftershocks. If you're in the area, keep perishable foods, plenty of bottled water and weapons/firearms on hand; you may also want to put some of these items in your auto, in case you must evacuate your house. Please don't forget the water, as it's very hot here in DC. Keep a half-full glass of water in a centrally visible location and monitor it for shaking. If you think it's something other than an air-conditioner, passing truck or some kind of machinery, head for an exit. We're okay here, so far.

If you missed the International Space Station hurdling over Penn Branch at 9:42 pm (EST), like a flying saucer from the movies, don't sweat it! You can catch it again, tonight at 12:00 am or whenever you like, by checking in with Penn Brancher (and my mother) Shirley Dyer 's Space News website, generally recognized by skywatchers and astronomy enthusiasts to be one of the most comprehensive space information portals (list of links) on the Worldwide Web. Look for the 'Daily ISS [International Space Station] Sightings for Fort Dupont Park/Penn Branch' and get ready for one helluva show! When you look up in the sky on a clear or near-clear night, you will see a scattering of stars and planets - stars blink or twinkle, while planets typically don't. When you notice that one of the planets you're looking at is moving across the open sky, quickly, but, not as fast as a shooting star (meteor), you will know you are probably looking at the ISS, which is roughly abo...

Pompeii knew you couldn't keep a good weiner down. (Yahoo! News) "After days of denials, a choked-up New York Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner confessed Monday that he tweeted a bulging-underpants photo of himself to a young woman and admitted to "inappropriate" exchanges with six women before and after getting married. He apologized for lying but said he would not resign. A conservative website that last week started a furor over a lewd photo sent from Weiner's Twitter account posted new photos..." A difficult, but, all too typical story of political intrigue about a complex and driven man! Read more of the Yahoo! News article here

As the so-called liberally biased American TV news media intentionally or unintentionally rewrites the history of America's War On Terror with chinny, cinematic video clips of President George W. Bush vowing to get the people, responsible for the 911 attacks, I think it's important to keep the record straight. As conny bloggers and wingnut journalists ask questions like, "Does Obama deserve credit for killing Osama Bin Laden?" and "Does Bush deserve more credit for Bin Laden's death, than Obama?", I think it is easy to forget the Bush Administration's dismissive attitude regarding Osama Bin Laden's capture. As we give well-deserved credit to the U.S. Intelligence Community and our armed forces for the elimination of the global threat of Bin Laden, I think it's important to remember how many lives had been lost, tracking this guy through the mountains of Afghanistan, at the time that President George W. Bush told us he wasn't concerned ...

Penn Branch may be a little behind the times and short on modern amenities, but we got cars. We can drive, wherever we like. A major coffee retailer, with a name that sounds something like 'War-bucks' , will NOT be coming to Penn Branch or anywhere else in Southeast Washington, D.C. in the Fall of 2011, ..and if you read differently here, and this is a little bit of a letdown for you, I hope you aren't taking the truth too hard. Bummer, huh? It was all a big April Fool's gag , courtesy of yours truly. It might be a bitter pill to swallow, but, eventually, we're going to have to swallow it, my friends. The market research for this area (for reasons I won't get into here) is so terrible and nearly impossible to compile, that we are commercially invisible. Besides groceries, gasoline, liquor and a few other things, no retailer can determine, with any measure of certainty, what we are or aren't buying in Southeast or anywhere else, and, without the assura...

A major coffee retailer, with a name that sounds something like 'War-bucks' , will be coming to quietly middle-class Penn Branch (Washington, D.C.) in August 2011, and it looks like they may already be hiring. One of Capicostia’ s many routine googlings of ‘retail coffee southeast Washington dc’ produced an employment notice posted for a new “Hillcrest” store here . A reliable source tells Capicostia that the world-famous coffee giant's Penn Branch store will be located between PB Center’s old, broken down escalators and the nail salon, in what used to be a High’s Ice Cream store ..and two doors down from the CVS Pharmacy . Considering that Big Chair Coffee (with GRRREAT coffee and eats) on Martin Luther King, Jr. Avenue is roaring into its second year in the River East area, this new coffehouse, while long wished for by many area residents, will not be the first of its kind to cross the Anacostia. And the commercial development revolution in Old Southeast continues un...

(NYTimes.com) As the four of us headed toward the eastern gate of Ajdabiya, the front line of a desperate rebel stand against the advancing forces of Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi, a car pulled up alongside. “They’re in the city!” the driver shouted at us. “They’re in the city!” Lynsey and Steve had worried that government soldiers might encircle the town, trapping us, but Tyler and Anthony discounted it. We had covered the fall of two other rebel-held towns — Ras Lanuf and Brega — and each time, the government had bombed and shelled the towns for days before making a frontal, methodical assault. When they did, rebels and journalists fled in a headlong retreat. If Ajdabiya fell, Colonel Qaddafi’s forces would be on the doorstep of Benghazi, the opposition capital, and perched on a highway to the Egyptian border, from... Read full story here

This act of bullying, caught on tape, and how the victim responded, is drawing a lot of reaction from around the world. The kid who was being bullied is said to have been picked on his whole school life. But, after being taunted by another student, he finally snapped and in a physical manner, said “enough”. The question is, while this child is being applauded all over the internet, is this the way to respond? Many experts will say “no... Read full story here

There's nothing worse than having a sick animal friend or pet in your home, who is ill and cannot speak for itself. It's a helpless feeling, and you want to get your pet to someone, who can help them, as quickly and easily as you can. For Capicostia, that doesn't mean popping over to Capitol Hill, Old Anacostia or Northwest D.C., where you know there'll be no parking. It probably means hauling your pets out to Maryland's P.G. County, where parking and lots of space for it is practically guaranteed. That's how I found the Forestville Vetinary and Bird Hospital . It is located on Marboro Pike, right around the corner from the Penn Mar Shopping Center on Donnell Drive, in District Heights, Maryland, ..and it's got more than just convenient parking. FVBH is headed up by Ukraine-educated vetinarian and animal friend-spirit, Dr. Abdoul Diarra , and a caring staff of vetinary students, pet grooming and kennel professionals and vetinary technicians. Rest assu...

(Above, from Flickr ) Columbia Heights after dusk. Clearly, River East doesn't have the lock on dark, unsafe streets OR violent crime. Violent Assault on Tape | NBC Washington

If you blinked in the early Nineties, you may have missed this techno/rap/R&B combo platter--probably dismissed it as hallucination, if you did see it! The video of this KLF song, featuring [I swear!] Tammy 'Stand By Your Man' Wynette, is beyond imaginative. It is absurd, nonsensical and brilliant, and the coolest thing about the song itself is that it takes the sweet, creek-clear vocals of a country music legend, like Wynette (a grandmother, in her Seventies), whom you wouldn't expect to find within a hundred and fifty miles of this pop experiment, and marries them perfectly to KLF's fully-loaded urban, hip-hop-inspired sound. Ingenius.

(Yahoo! News) "Radio host Rush Limbaugh poked fun at Michelle Obama's waistline Monday; the latest entry in a string of conservative attacks on the First Lady's anti-obesity campaign. During his show yesterday, Limbaugh pounced on a report that the Obama family (minus the president) had dined on ribs while vacationing in Vail, Colo.: The problem is -- and dare I say this -- it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary ..." Can somebody tell me what in the hell this guy is talking about? What are 'First Lady' and 'swimsuit model' even doing in the same sentence, ..without mind-warping drugs that make you bounce up and down at CPAC being involved? There was a time, some twenty years ago, when my late granduncle and I (listening to Limbaugh's show on tape) were occasionally awakened to something sensible or even clever from Rush Limbaugh's radio program. Something about integrity and the patriotic dignity of i...

(Biblical Evidence for Catholicism) "...It is commonly believed that clergy sexual abuse is an exclusively Catholic problem that does not happen in other churches. In a 1983 doctoral thesis by Richard Blackmon, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner and 38% admitted to other sexualized contact with a parishioner. [When Mentor Becomes Molester, by Alexa Smith. Reprinted with permission from Presbyterians Today, Magazine Of The Presbyterian Church, USA]. The Office of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) estimates that there are about 50 clergy sexual misconduct cases every year. Although cases in the PCUSA tend to involve adult women and male pastors, there are sometimes cases reported that involve children and other..." from Dave Armstrong's It Ain't Just Catholic Priests: Resources on Shocking Statistics of Clergy Sexual Abuse Read more

(Yahoo! News) "NAIROBI, Kenya – Four Americans taken hostage by Somali pirates off East Africa were shot and killed by their captors Monday, the U.S. military said, marking the first time U.S. citizens have been killed in a wave of pirate attacks plaguing the Gulf of Aden and the Indian Ocean for years. U.S. naval forces, who were trailing the Americans' captured yacht with four warships, quickly boarded the vessel after hearing the gunfire and tried to provide lifesaving care to the Americans, but they died of their wounds, the U.S. Central Command said in a statement. Two pirates died during the confrontation and 13 were captured and detained, the U.S. Central Command said in a statement from Tampa, Fla. The remains of two other pirates who were already dead for some time were also found. The U.S. military didn't state how those two might have died. Negotiations had been under way to try to win the release of the two couples on the pirated vessel Quest when the gunfire.....

(Yahoo! News) "George Washington's name is inseparable from America, and not only from the nation's history. It identifies countless streets, buildings, mountains, bridges, monuments, cities — and people. In a puzzling twist, most of these people are black. The 2000 U.S. Census counted 163,036 people with the surname Washington. Ninety percent of them were African-American, a far higher black percentage than for any other common name. The story of how Washington became the "blackest name" begins with slavery and takes a sharp turn after the Civil War, when all blacks were allowed the dignity of a surname. Even before Emancipation, many enslaved black people chose their own surnames to establish their identities. Afterward, some historians theorize, large numbers of blacks..." Then, came Jamal, Tyrone, Delante, Pookie, Booboo ...read more here

(BBC News) Col. Gaddafi signalled his defiance over a mounting a revolt against his rule. Libya's leader, Muammar Gaddafi, has dismissed reports that he had fled amid the unrest sweeping the country, calling foreign news channels "dogs". Speaking to state TV from outside a ruined building, he asserted: "I am in Tripoli and not in Venezuela." UK Foreign Minister William Hague had said he had seen information suggesting Col. Gaddafi was on his way to Caracas. Col. Gaddafi's statement came after security forces and protesters clashed in the capital for a second night. Witnesses say warplanes and helicopters fired on protesters in the city. To the west, sources said the army was fighting..." Don't cry for me, Venezuela? Full story here.

(People.com) "It's baby no. 2 for Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. The actress announced on her Facebook page and Twitter account Wednesday that she and her husband are expecting their second child. "I thought I'd drop by to let you all in on some exciting news – Honor is going to be a Big Sister!" Alba, 29, wrote. "Cash and I are thrilled and wanted to share the news directly with you so you didn't..." Full story here Since the ethnicity of this gorgeous couple seems to pre-occupy some of us, I'll try to simplify things for you, here. Both Mr. and Mrs. Cash Warren are, like yours truly, Americans of Mexican descent--Jessica, with a Mexican American dad, and Cash, with a Mexican American mom. To keep things interesting, you may also like to know that Jessica's mom is of Danish and French Canadian heritage, and Cash's dad is Emmy-nominated star of the classic TV cop drama, Hill Street Blues , and, also like yours truly, is Afro-Americ...

See who wrote us up on his weblog, right here .

(NYDailyNews.com) "Authorities say a young South Philadelphia teen was so angry his mom took away his PlayStation that he killed her with a claw hammer. The motive was revealed as Kendall Anderson's confession to the brutal crime, committed on the day after Thanksgiving, was read in court, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported on Tuesday. The 16-year-old allegedly told police he decided to kill his mother, Rashida Anderson, after a 90-minute argument that culminated in her taking the video-game console away. Anderson considered his actions before killing his 37-year-old single mother, said the judge who read the teen's statement in Philadelphia Municipal Court. The teen paced for three hours mulling over what he would do before deciding to kill her, said his confession, which he gave to a police detective. Anderson struck her 20 times with a claw hammer while she slept. In an effort to get rid of her body, he tried to "cremate her" in..." Read full story

(Popeater) "NBC released a wonderful bit of casting news today: 'Friday Night Lights' alum Adrianne Palicki is set to play the title role (and two alter-egos) in David E. Kelley's buzzed about 'Wonder Woman' reboot. Kelley reportedly has a lot of work to do on the script, but Wonder Woman will have to do some serious heavy lifting of her own. Not only will Palicki play the star-spangled crimefighter, who's now based in LA, but she'll also play her alter-ego, billionaire CEO Diana Themyscira and Diana's mousy..." Full story here

Yeah, after a week, Capicostia, successor to the irascible Penn Brangler and the frightfully irregular Mel's Penn Branch Life, is still floating in Cyberspace, undiscovered by her River East sister-blogs. I was warned, prior to The Big Move to this new blogspot, that this could happen, if I didn't mail out engraved invitations to our new location. I didn't. I did, however, post a thread pleading everybody, who carried PennBranch.blogspot.com, to change our listing to Capicostia.blogspot.com that would show up as a title on their blogs and hoping that would put our friends on notice. I was hoping, also, to spare them the unsightly matter of carrying dead links , which I hate to find in my own list. The press for the new direction of this blog, all created right here, toted the Capicostia idea as being a blog about Middle River Easters (D.C.'s Silver Coast), who identified more with the international, big city experience that 'Capitol Hill represents', t...

Yahoo News, Associated Press "FEASTERVILLE, Pa. – A high school English teacher in suburban Philadelphia who was suspended for a profanity-laced blog in which she called her young charges "disengaged, lazy whiners" is driving a sensation by daring to ask: Why are today's students unmotivated — and what's wrong with calling them out? As she fights to keep her job at Central Bucks East High School, 30-year-old Natalie Munroe..." America's War On Teachers (and it's real ) continues, my friends. Speak out ..and be obliterated . Read more about Natalie Munroe's adventure with the psycho-liberal left hijackers of public education, here.

(Washington Examiner) "Former Prince George's County Executive Jack Johnson was indicted Monday on eight federal charges of conspiracy, extortion and bribery as well as tampering with a witness and evidence. Authorities say Johnson took bribes from developers seeking favorable treatment, and he and his wife attempted to cover it up. The indictment, filed in U.S. District Court in Greenbelt, also says Johnson conspired with..." Full story here

(WUSA9.com) "WASHINGTON (WUSA) -- DC Police confirm that they are investigating an allegation of sexual abuse against Washington Redskins player Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth is accused of touching a waitress' breast while paying his bill Sunday night at The W hotel on 15th Street, NW. According to the police report, the waitress' hands were full of dishes when Haynesworth wanted to pay his bill and he asked if he could put his credit card in her blouse near her breast area. She nodded yes and he placed the card in her blouse, sliding his hand further..." Read more here

(Politics Daily) "Democrats and Republicans in Congress will battle over proposed cuts in federal programs in President Obama's proposed FY2012 budget, unveiled on Monday. But the administration, seeking to put its own house in order, is looking for savings in many corners of the U.S. government. The Obama administration is looking to squeeze a few million in savings from reducing federal travel costs, to eliminating printing expenses to painting the roofs of embassies white. Some samples of savings the Obama administration is proposing that do not need Congressional approval..." Full story here

(Developmentally-Speaking.com) "“The TV is too loud!" "Turn it down!” “Turn it down some more!” “Turn it WAY down!” Ok. Now I can barely hear the TV, and am straining my ears to the point of getting a headache. But if I don’t turn it down, then I will hear the crying; loud cursing-like-a-sailor; banging on walls; stomping across the floor; banging doors; and maybe stomping down the stairs; then the glaring, unrecognizably large spirited eyes—all to demonstrate extreme..." Read more here

(The Santiago Times) "Seismic activity continues to alarm Chileans Nearly one year since a devastating 8.8-magnitude earthquake struck southern Chile last Feb. 27, the earth shook once again on Friday afternoon, and in almost the exact spot. Friday’s earthquake measured a magnitude 6.9 on the Richter scale according to ONEMI, Chile’s National Emergency Office. U.S. seismologists measured the tremor at 6.8-magnitude on the Richter scale. The tremor began at 5:05 p.m. Friday evening and was centered 30 miles outside of Concepción. Still, the quake was felt from Valparaíso to the Los Ríos Region. As the Earth continued to shake, people from buildings throughout the city of Concepción evacuated into..." Full story here.

(The Huffington Post) "Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) delivered the keynote address on Saturday night at this year's Conservative Political Action Conference. Topics discussed in West's speech encompassed a wide range. From the state of nation's economy and federal budget to social issues, the congressman covered a lot of ground. He stressed the importance of adhering to conservative principles while also taking time to criticize Democrats. "Liberal progressivism evolved after our Constitution," explained West to his audience. "It has repeatedly failed all over the world..." Read more here

We tend to want to dress our First Ladies like aircraft carriers sailing off to war. Stately. Imperious. Elegantly invincible. Clearly, that is not what's happening with First Lady, Michelle Obama - a beautiful, remarkable and magnificent lady - and, in keeping with her occasionally unconventional adventures in fashion, the dress that she wore on her Today Show appearance isn't quite as bad, as you've probably heard. Firstly, it's not the dress that's the problem, really. The fun begins, when you slap that frilly frock together with a pair of mustard green [Was that green?] or greenish yellow pumps and a melon-toned red belt. Now, you've got a problem. Not entirely unsalvageable, though. Match that melon or (maybe) vermillion belt with a pair of vermillion pumps , just like the shoes she wore on that Today Show, and you've got a springy, sassy, runway winner. Seriously - with an adjustment as simple as that, you've got something bold and breez...

(MinorityNews.net) "WASHINGTON -- On March 16th, the Greater Washington Hispanic Chamber of Commerce (GWHCC) will host its second annual business expo. The expo will once again bring together business leaders and decision makers from dynamic companies, corporations, embassies and prime contractors as well as federal and local government agencies in the Washington, D.C. metro area..." Read the full story here.

(MyFoxDC.com) "WASHINGTON - District officials have not decided yet whether to appeal the ruling of an independent arbitrator, who says 75 terminated teachers should be reinstated. The 75 teachers were let go in 2008 when Michelle Rhee was D.C. Public Schools Chancellor. The arbitrator said the fired teachers were not informed of the reasons for their dismissals..." Read more

See that part on the map (below) that reads 'Territory of Columbia'? What is the point of naming the City Formerly Known As D.C. something like 'New Columbia', if we're all still in the same, old Columbia? So far, our poll reports that there are more people, who want to name our new, non-capital territory just plain, ole, stinky 'Columbia', than anyone else. Common sense prevailing, I think.

Forget the COFFEE at Big Chair Coffee ! The food is unbelievable! Anacostia's BIG CHAIR COFFEE & GRILL is now THE east-of-river place to grab breakfast! The Bacon and Sausage Omelette (and I'm really not an egg-lover) is phenomenal--a spicy, juicy fiesta in your mouth! What I love about this dish is that the amazing spices light up your tongue, without overpowering the spiciness of the sausage or the smokey flavor of the bacon--genius! If you can't park, this is totally worth calling-in and orbitting the block for--seven or eight minutes, and you got crazy, freakolicious breakfast! Don't get me started on the BUFFALO CHICKEN SUB ! You will want to wear this thing around your neck , it's so GOOD! And yeah--the coffee 's great, too! That's kind of a given, considering it's coming from the same folks, who gave us MURKY COFFEE (a Dyer family favorite) on Capitol Hill! Great, great stuff! River East's only true coffeehouse is open on weekdays, ...

Bullet-proof, Amazon yuppies get along just fine in River East, I'll have you know! People have a lot of stupid ideas about life east of the Big Dirty, and River Easters are fed up ! What do you think is the most common 'wrong idea' about our great neighborhoods? Take the poll on the right and share your views.

The Wikipedia listing for Anacostia (here, meaning all of D.C. 'East-of-the-river' ) ends abruptly with the opening of an unnamed supermarket in 2007. So, where's the rest? There's Denny's (a Dyer family fave), the Fireside Resaurant, Honfleur Gallery, the River East Emerging Leaders, Ray's The Steaks, the Savoy, the Grays, Big Chair Coffee, Uniontown Bar/Grill, the Hive and two NEW libraries and a museum . All of that is happening right here, in River East, and everyone should know. So, if you already have a blurb somewhere on all of the above and any new developments I might have missed, send it to the people at Wikipedia, so they can get this right. Mel Dyer

AOL News' prodigious 2009 upstart (and a GREAT e-read), Politics Daily, takes a smarting and timely little swing at the latest efforts to shame Congress into moving on D.C. statehood--namely, the re-branding of Pennsylvania Avenue as 'Statehood Way' or 'Voteless' some-such. The short article is written competently by author/columnist, Tom Deimer . It'll never happen, by the way, for one very simple reason. If shame , and heaping lots of it, is the requisite element in lighting the D.C. Statehood fire, the forces in Congress, who ritually oppose it (like Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell), have none on the matter. As there are sound arguments on both sides, whether they should or shouldn't be ashamed is a matter to be settled in the court of local public opinion. Not, typically, very forgiving on this issue. Have a look, here . Then, take the poll to give the State Formerly Known As D.C. a name: Washingtonia would add an 'i' and 'a' to ...

It's NOT the east-of-the-river you're probably thinking of, ..and isn't that entirely the point of this stupid blog? Here's what CDBaby.com has to say about it: "...Nina Stern and Daphna Mor began playing together several years ago and immediately felt a unique musical bond...became especially interested in the music of Armenia and the Balkans, finding that that repertory was especially suited to their instrument. Balkan music's virtuosic rhythms and exciting tempi lend themselves to the fleet recorder, and the soulfulness of the Armenian repertory is well suited to the plaintive sound of the instrument. In "East of the River", Daphna and Nina invited their favorite musicians from New York City's classical, jazz and world music backgrounds to collaborate with them. Jazz bass player Omer Avital who has been called "the poet of the bass", composer/accordionist Uri Sharlin and percussionist Tomer Tzur each added his own unique talents an...

Brangler Oppossum (above) is the only thing gathering in these hills, my friends. (Originally published, July 23th, 2009) If it seems some Penn Branch folk are always bellyaching about the lack of quailty retail in our neighborhood, don’t judge us too harshly. It’s more than just bellyaching. Prior to the Reagan Era 80s and the Inflation that preceded it, this neighborhood had plenty! I remember drugstore diners with GREAT coffee, movies at the Hyland Theatre (at the Hyland Cinema , once located next to the Pope Funeral Home) and, with valet, at Coral Hill . There were even several restaurants, a cocktail lounge or two, a bowling alley, ..and all right here, in and around Penn Branch. I remember seeing my neighbors at these places and the feeling of relaxed belonging and protection it gave me. I remember hearing my father laugh about bumping into Mr. Such N. Such at that cocktail lounge, and how, after the encounter, he’d decided that Such N. Such probably wasn’t such a bad guy, after...

Penn Branch Center, charming as ever! (Clockwise from top right) Penn Branch Liquors, CVS Pharmacy, Beltway Beauty and Star Pizzeria, below it. (Originally published, July 15th, 2009) She sits at the corner of Pennsylvania and Branch Avenues, this brick and concrete goddess. Our Penn Branch. She sits there, with a mouthful of meatball subs, twinkies and Cool Ranch Doritos and washes it all down with a Colt 45. She sits there, fixing the one good eye she’s got left on you, as your car makes a mad rush for the John Philip Sousa Bridge. For Capitol Hill. National Harbor. Adams Morgan. Cool places. Exotic places. Faraway places, where cafes litter the sidewalk. Where laughter, foreign accents and live jazz tease the imported air. Where people linger. Celebrate. Hook up. I cannot honestly say that I remember the last time I wanted to visit Penn Branch Center, the prehistoric strip mall at the corner of Pennsylvania and Branch Avenues, for anything, ..and I don’t know anyone else, who does, ...