C A P I C O S T I A

BATMAN remembers the old Penn Branch being rather lively.   by Mel Dyer The public safety situation has much improved, at our Shops at Penn Branch, since the publication of my last article on the subject. The CHARACTERS and panhandlers no longer gather in any number, noticeable enough to alarm, annoy or distract from keeping ourselves safe, going about our business, there. Penn Branch no longer operates in an environment that attracts criminal opportunists; so, let us assume that the prospects for intimidation, purse-snatchings, slightly more violent smash-n-grabs and straight-up ARMED ROBBERY ..are significantly less, than before. Chronic vagrancy is not tolerated by the 7-Eleven stores in Cleveland Park, Chevy Chase, Georgetown or Spring Valley - I've been to those stores - and I can tell you it is not tolerated in Penn Branch, either. I have spoken with the owner of our 7-Eleven, and, believe me, ..she is working so hard to keep her store and storefr...

by Mel Dyer A 'Capicostia' blog?  Again? Kinda trying this on. Feeling it out. Capitol Hill + Anacostia = Capicostia?! I think River East needs a blog that speaks to the frustration and quiet hysteria of what it's like to live here, but, sometimes, feel some small part of you might belong on the other side of the river, ..where political intrigue and urbanity slink down the sidewalks, stopping for the occasional latte or imported beer. Mmmm...I'll cop to the angst. Even if you won't. There's something about living here, ..in Penn Branch, Fairfax Village, Pope Branch, Dupont Park, Twining, Hillcrest, the Randall Highlands and probably Fairlawn, too, ..that's different than living in other parts of River East, and the culture-angst is something only we can understand. When you think about it the only thing separating us from Capitol Hill and everything the Hill represents--sophistication, culture, history, relevance, style--is a stupid bridge and ...

  There's a reason Master Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, newly born son of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, won't properly be 'His Royal Highness', ..and it's got nothing to do with his mother being a commoner or a biracial African American woman. And so long as he's 'Prince Archie' to you and your aunties, ..does it matter?   What does any of this have to do with living, between bloody Capitol Hill and Anagoddam'costia? Absolutely nothing. TownAndCountryMag.com breaks it all down for us, here. https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a27421887/archie-harrison-mountbatten-windsor-title-prince-charles-king/

  By Mel Dyer   While I don't spend as much time, there, as I used to, I can't give up hope that my home of over twenty years, FAIRFAX VILLAGE, will soon escape the pessimism that some of us have inflicted upon it, since the early 1970s, ..and return to its pastoral niceness, someday. While I have enjoyed friendships, with a wide variety of people from every corner of the planet, I don't think the Village needs cultural OR economic gentrification to make that happen.   Inflicted? Did I say... yes, ..I did. So, what am I talking about?   In the late 1960s, there used to be an Italian restaurant - a RISTORANTE, with a piazza and bistro tables, with candles on them, at night - literally, a mere couple of blocks, from my condo. Long before I moved here in 1995, lovers, old ones and young ones, used to amuse each other, over candlelight, in that piazza, ..right up the street. What happened? I don't care if the lovers are East Indian, Polish, Jamaic...

Check out the plans for the new Penn Branch Center... right here on ICGProperties.com ! Check out the airy, light-friendly glass and steel architecture, the environmentally conscious green roofing , the restaurants , the sidewalk cafes and the people! Imagine spending a Saturday afternoon, dozing over your laptop at Dunkin' Donuts or Panera or Caribou Coffee! Imagine heading down to a bar for drinks with the fellas on Cinco de Mayo ! Imagine celebrating your whatever with your whoevers, amidst the primal, smokey scent of STEAK on the grill, wafting up and along Carpenter Street! Imagine all of the schemes you'll have to come up with just to drive by this place, without pulling over for something. You'll never get downtown . You will never see Capitol Hill , again. And speaking of downtown, imagine the GATED PARKING that will end the abusive over-crowding of Penn Branch Center's parking lot by commuters. It's so crowded during the day, it sometimes takes several...

Brangler Oppossum (above) is the only thing gathering in these hills, my friends. (Originally published, July 23rd, 2009) If it seems some Penn Branch folk are always bellyaching about the lack of quailty retail in our neighborhood, don’t judge us too harshly. It’s more than just bellyaching. Prior to the Reagan Era 80s and the Inflation that preceded it, this neighborhood had plenty! I remember drugstore diners with GREAT coffee, movies at the Hyland Theatre (at the Hyland Cinema , once located next to the Pope Funeral Home) and, with valet, at Coral Hill . There were even several restaurants, a cocktail lounge or two, a bowling alley, ..and all right here, in and around Penn Branch. I remember seeing my neighbors at these places and the feeling of relaxed belonging and protection it gave me. I remember hearing my father laugh about bumping into Mr. Such N. Such at that cocktail lounge, and how, after the encounter, he’d decided that Such N. Such probably wasn’t such a bad guy, after...

(Above, from Flickr ) Columbia Heights after dusk. Clearly, River East doesn't have the lock on dark, unsafe streets OR violent crime. Violent Assault on Tape | NBC Washington

My Brangler spirit may be running a little low, right now. Exactly a year ago, in October of 2009, several reliable sources told Penn Branch and surrounding residents that construction was to begin on our weary old tomb of a shopping strip, Penn Branch Center , which is basically a big piece of crap that's been falling apart for the last twenty or so years. We've got sleepy, hum-drum retail that forces Penn Branglers to go spend our money in other communities, making them more economically viable, while our own neighborhood fades deeper into civic irrelevance with City Hall, and I was really looking forward to the end of that. But, the ending never arrived. In the meantime, Minnesota-Benning (Bennesota) and even Fairfax Village (where I have a condo) are witnessing the beginnings of exciting changes in their respective business districts, while Penn Branch, still the host of lots of dependable, law-abiding middle class tax payers, stays drearily and abysmally the same. Not po...

Johnny-come-latelies we may be, the United States is getting serious about its soccer. Today in Pretoria, South Africa, with a 1-0 win over Algeria, the United States rockets to the second round at the World Cup! Could news like this curb our Nation's Capitol's longstanding disdain for this globally celebrated sport? The story here... Mel Dyer

[Originally published, 2/1/10] Forget the COFFEE at Big Chair Coffee ! The food is unbelievable! Anacostia's BIG CHAIR COFFEE & GRILL is now THE east-of-river place to grab breakfast! The Bacon and Sausage Omelette (and I'm really not an egg-lover) is phenomenal--a spicy, juicy fiesta in your mouth! What I love about this dish is that the amazing spices light up your tongue, without overpowering the spiciness of the sausage or the smokey flavor of the bacon--genius! If you can't park, this is totally worth calling-in and orbitting the block for--seven or eight minutes, and you got crazy, freakolicious breakfast! Don't get me started on the BUFFALO CHICKEN SUB ! You will want to wear this thing around your neck , it's so GOOD! And yeah--the coffee 's great, too! That's kind of a given, considering it's coming from the same folks, who gave us MURKY COFFEE (a Dyer family favorite) on Capitol Hill! Great, great stuff! River East's only true co...

Above: President Felipe Calderon of Mexico, looking a little like my late papa here. I was one of the people, who was not at all surprised, when Mexican president, Felipe Calderon , told a joint session of Congress that eighty percent of the seventy-five thousand guns seized by Mexican law enforcement, over the last three years, have been traced right here to the United States of America. According to the Associated Press , Calderon, after urging U.S. legislators to strengthen gun laws, warned that over ninety percent of the guns used by [Mexican] drug traffickers come from north of Mexico's border. I was not surprised because I know what "guns used by drug traffickers" means, and you probably do, too. Even if you think you don't. Don't get caught up in the political crap-storm brewing over the ninety percent part. The guns being used by the drug traffickers President Calderon spoke of are small arms-- handguns --the same our local papers tell us are being...