"I feel safe in Penn Branch because..."
When a Penn Brangler poll asked postors why they feel safe in Penn Branch, fifty-four percent said it was because it is "surrounded by well-kept, working-middle class neighborhoods", while forty-five percent expressed that the neighborhood's "strong police presence" gave them a feeling of security. Penn Branch's wholesome, small town charm did not go unappreciated in the poll; seventy-two percent said they felt safe, because "Branglers look out for each other", and two percent said it was because "nothing ever happens here". Right on both counts, you ask me, and God bless the folks (in uniform and out), who keep it that way!
For the record, ONE perecent of you admitted feeling safe, because you've "got a gun and...can fight". Only ONE percent?! I thought Branglers'd be a little more candid than that--not going to press the issue here, because I don't want any of you gun-toting, crackshot retirees on this hill mad at me.
Neither do you, stranger. Count on it ..and take the poll. [See right.]
Angry retirees and opossum are two things you don't want to mess with in Penn Branch--guns might be a third. If you feel strongly about that or are someone, like me, who grew up around guns and are pretty comfortable with having them around for the protection of your family, you may want to get ready for the Second Amendment National March, coming up in late April.